My UCD Life

I've been recruited on to the UCD Video Squad, a position which requires me to make a series of videos about my life in UCD (University College Dublin for those of you not from Ireland, and by 'those of you' I mean 'both of you'). The idea is that our videos will be uploaded onto the UCD website so prospective students will get an idea about life in UCD. I've decided to post the first two of my videos here before they go up on the university's website. Enjoy!

Pull your punches perhaps?

Just saw the below advert on Facebook and it struck me as amazingly controversial.

I know, you're thinking "Yeah, it's a seasonally relevant ad; the type I've come to expect on social networking sites. What's your point David? Well??" Well hypothetical passive aggressive reader my point lies not in the advert itself, but, rather in the photograph in the ad.

Sure the guy has a very pronounce chin and indeed a very large, wall-like forehead. You could go so far as to say his ears are a little on the big side and that his cheek bones pose a threat to anyone in his vicinity when he turns around. But that is no reason for the people who commissioned the advert to draw notice to these harrowing facial features by comparing him to Frankenstein's monster. For shame.

"But the bolts in Frankenstein's neck, surely those signify that it's all a gentle and playful advertising campaign?"

Well to you my dear and equally hypothetical sympathising reader, that is where the advertisers have really gone to town on this poor man. Underneath the collar of his jumper are two bolt shaped tumours, one on either side of his neck. Yes, tumours. Still think it's a playful, harmless advert? Want to know who most certainly doesn't think so? Tumour neck up there.

Green Man

For fans of the TV show "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" you will no doubt know and love Green Man. For those who aren't aware of the show, Green Man is the alter ego of bar janitor Charlie. He has a tendency to pop up at the most random moments and is one of my favourite characters on television. So I thought for Halloween I'd buy myself a green morph suit and dress up as him. I got my suit in the post today so as soon as I got home I had to try it on!

Green Man sound bite  It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia sound bites

Eh, I'd rather not thanks!

So, I just saw this ad on Wrestlezone and was very, VERY disturbed by it.


Everyone has seen a 6 pack or in some cases and 8 pack (see: John Morrison) but who among us has previously seen the above. To me it looks as if he is about half a second from having a baby alien burst from his stomach.
It may just be me but I'd rather stay scrawny and weak than have a body that looked as if some one had vacuum packed me with left over bits of a pork.

Also what is with those two veins coming from from his crotch? Don't act like you've not noticed them.

Despite the ad saying not to waste money on protein powders or creatine, the side the ad links to sells (not free! The Internet lying? Whodathunkit!) some fat burning crap that I wasn't too bothered reading about.

Finally, how smug does that fucker look!? "Ooohh look at me! Look at my freakish abs and veins! I am the hawttest guy around! Sure I can no longer maintain an erection. But hell, with my downward pointing nipples and ring-pull belly button, I'm the happiest man around, way happier than you normal guys with your normal bodies and your veins that just pump blood, not liquid suppressed shame like mine!'

And now for...

THE OBLIGATORY CHEESY JOKE.

"I got ripped in four weeks!"
"More like ripped OFF!"
/snare rimshot
/muffled cough
/tumbleweed

Update!

I've not got a chance to post anything in the last month because of college work (ghey) and a deadly amount of comedy gigs(yay).

I WILL post more often.

Next up will be another installment of Diary of a (War)crack Addict. Check out parts 1 and 2 here and here!

In the mean time keep up with me on twitter.