Comedian: Year One.

February 18th 2009. I performed stand up comedy for the first time ever. Not only was this the first time I'd done stand up, but it was also the first time I'd spoken to more than maybe 10 people at once. Terrifying, to say the least. After qualifying for the final of the UCD Stands Up competition, I was so happy and on such a buzz. Such was the amazingness, I implore everyone to try stand up, even just once.

Receiving generous applause from the amazing turnout of Cavan friends. :)

Read more...

Wish Me Luck.

While I should probably announce this on the actually <419 site, I get more traffic here so it seemed like the best option.

I've decided to write a <419 book. Well more "illustrate" a <419 book. I'm using inverted commas as I hardly consider myself as an illustrater or even a semi-competent drawer. Anyhoo, I've not 100% decided upon a title or theme of the book but for the moment it will be called "50 Ways To Break Up With Your Partner (Without Them Knowing)"

With exams and projects, it'd be unrealistic of me to thing I'll get this started in the next 3-4 weeks but while I'm off for a month after Christmas I will be hopefully hammering my way through like a coked up blacksmith.

Teh Internetz knows my name lulz

Popped on to Youtube just there to see how many views my UCD Life videos had gotten so far. As I typed in my name Youtube suggest 'David Reilly Stand Up'. Needless to say I find this pretty deadly! :D


So then I decided to see if Google would be the same, seeing as they own Youtube. The results were a little weird and lead me to think I either have some sort of super secret, super large following somewhere, perhaps a cult deep in South America, or else I need a new stage name as there are far too many comedians going by David Reilly.


I know that near 99% of those 51000 results no doubt have nothing to do with me, but to all those who have acknowledged my online presence by following me on Twitter, Youtube or here, I offer you my most sincerest thanks and gratitude.

My UCD Life

I've been recruited on to the UCD Video Squad, a position which requires me to make a series of videos about my life in UCD (University College Dublin for those of you not from Ireland, and by 'those of you' I mean 'both of you'). The idea is that our videos will be uploaded onto the UCD website so prospective students will get an idea about life in UCD. I've decided to post the first two of my videos here before they go up on the university's website. Enjoy!

Pull your punches perhaps?

Just saw the below advert on Facebook and it struck me as amazingly controversial.

I know, you're thinking "Yeah, it's a seasonally relevant ad; the type I've come to expect on social networking sites. What's your point David? Well??" Well hypothetical passive aggressive reader my point lies not in the advert itself, but, rather in the photograph in the ad.

Sure the guy has a very pronounce chin and indeed a very large, wall-like forehead. You could go so far as to say his ears are a little on the big side and that his cheek bones pose a threat to anyone in his vicinity when he turns around. But that is no reason for the people who commissioned the advert to draw notice to these harrowing facial features by comparing him to Frankenstein's monster. For shame.

"But the bolts in Frankenstein's neck, surely those signify that it's all a gentle and playful advertising campaign?"

Well to you my dear and equally hypothetical sympathising reader, that is where the advertisers have really gone to town on this poor man. Underneath the collar of his jumper are two bolt shaped tumours, one on either side of his neck. Yes, tumours. Still think it's a playful, harmless advert? Want to know who most certainly doesn't think so? Tumour neck up there.

Eh, I'd rather not thanks!

So, I just saw this ad on Wrestlezone and was very, VERY disturbed by it.


Everyone has seen a 6 pack or in some cases and 8 pack (see: John Morrison) but who among us has previously seen the above. To me it looks as if he is about half a second from having a baby alien burst from his stomach.
It may just be me but I'd rather stay scrawny and weak than have a body that looked as if some one had vacuum packed me with left over bits of a pork.

Also what is with those two veins coming from from his crotch? Don't act like you've not noticed them.

Despite the ad saying not to waste money on protein powders or creatine, the side the ad links to sells (not free! The Internet lying? Whodathunkit!) some fat burning crap that I wasn't too bothered reading about.

Finally, how smug does that fucker look!? "Ooohh look at me! Look at my freakish abs and veins! I am the hawttest guy around! Sure I can no longer maintain an erection. But hell, with my downward pointing nipples and ring-pull belly button, I'm the happiest man around, way happier than you normal guys with your normal bodies and your veins that just pump blood, not liquid suppressed shame like mine!'

And now for...

THE OBLIGATORY CHEESY JOKE.

"I got ripped in four weeks!"
"More like ripped OFF!"
/snare rimshot
/muffled cough
/tumbleweed

Love this picture so much, it's almost a physical love.

Diary of a (War)crack Addict. #2

First of let me just say the reason it's taken me over 2 weeks to post another 'Diary of a (War)crack Addict' is because of the 174678 patches I've had to download. Everytime I open WoW I was told I need to download a patch. These patches were to get me from what I think was version 3.0something of the game to the current 3.2 version. However at about version 3.1.0something, after numerous 9 hour patches, it decided that that would do and I'd actually be allowed to play the game.
I went to Blizzard's EU website and upgraded my account to the Burning Crusade expansion. (Thanks very much again to Remi Rockit for her being her usual helpful self.) Having two new races available to me I chose the 'baddie' of the two new options, the blood elf.

P.I.M.P

The above chap is my Mage Blood Elf. He is currently at level 4 after a few embarrassing deaths to some Tenders and a fence post (well at least that's how it looked from my angle.)
As I said in the first edition of this 'Diary' this was not going to be a record of what happens in the game, more my take on the games effect on my social life, sleeping pattern, general health etc. I just stopped playing for the night and it's 5.30am I've spent the last 4 days dosed with a horrible prick of a cold which I've still to fully recover from and I've a very busy 2 weeks ahead including a wedding and a comedy show. Soooo, all in all, WoW has so far only become a minor hindrance in my plan to fix my sleep pattern to one which is somewhat sociable in GMT.

On that note I shall go to World of Dreamcraft.


I mean bed; I shall go to bed.


Knight!


I mean night; night!

Ireland's Eye: Ensuring the survival of Irish stereotypes...

...one, lonely, old potato farmer at a time.

Next, they'll be making out we've a fondness for the drink!

Suspicious eh?

This is a screen grab I took a day or two before going to Oxegen so apologies for it being delayed. It's the Last.Fm homepage and it shows who most users are listening to. Now, as you can clearly see Mr. Michael Jackson is (was) the top most played artist or the day or whatever time period they base their numbers from. This is of course understandable as he had died the week previous, and it was sort of a big deal.
However, the little red bit on the artists' picture says 'On Tour' and is displayed if a band or singer is, obviously enough, on tour. Now, as can be seen from above MJ is currently touring, despite, well, 'pining for the fjords'.
This does however confirm the rumours that MJ shall be touring in the form of the infamous Thriller zombie.

Diary of a (War)crack Addict. #1

I used to make fun of my friend Eamon for playing the MMORPG World of Warcraft. However due to my status as an unemployed and unpaid comedian I started to become a little interested in WoW. One day I received an email from Eamon containing a '10-day free trial'. I decided to download the trial but when I went to play it I misread something a thought the trial didn't work. Seeing this as a sign I concluded that I wouldn't try it again.
How wrong I was.

After my friend Jane tweeted asking for people to play WoW with her I decided I'd give it another go, this time at least I'd have someone to help me start it off so I'd know what to do. So I set about creating a character named Daithí. He is a Tauren Druid, as I'm sure you could all tell from the picture below.

Awesome, no?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand I've pretty much been hooked since!

I originally planned on not buying the game after my trial expired.
But like most thing I decide not to buy, I bought it. But I didn't just buy the game, I bought the World of Warcraft Battle Chest which contains the game, and expansion pack and two guides, all for the humble price of €18.

So, the aim of my 'Diary of a (War)crack Addict' posts will not be to document how I'm doing and needless boring any readers, but will rather to document the effect WoW may possible take on different aspects of my life, be it social, health, mental or what have you. And of course, if I encounter any proper nerdy losers (pot/kettle anyone?) while playing I will be sure to mention* them here.


*read = make jokes at their expense

Be sure to read part two of Diary of a (War)crack Addict here!

Laugh Out Loud at Anseo 2: Electric Boogaloo.

My stand up comedy appearance at Anseo on Camden St. Dublin on June 29th.

Screw Iran, THIS is conflict.

In recent weeks most of the news media has been primarily concerned with the controversial re-election of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the subsequent street protests, violence and deaths. Due to restricted foreign media within Iran, sites such as YouTube and Twitter are proving to be alternative, unbiased news sources.
However, without taking from the problems in Iran, there is an issue much closer to home that I feel needs as much, if not more press coverage.

'Shit-your-pants terrifying' - One local politician's take on the situation.

Yes that is right folks. The seemingly ongoing row over turf cutting rights has indeed heated up again. Who this row is between is unknown to me. I did try and research the story, but unfortunately the article was too boring to comprehend, I will wait for the inevitable big budget Hollywood adaptation, hopefully directed by Micheal Bay or Oliver Stone.

Apocalypse Next Tuesday Or Whenever Suits You.

Birthday Vlog.

Lies.

I think I'll stop making films for a while, they seem to be rapidly getting worse.

Om Nom Nom!!

Insomnia + Paper I Found While Tidying + Half A Bag Of Gummy Snakes I Felt Too Sick To Eat =

Laugh Out Loud at Anseo,

Stand up Final!

My stand up comedy appearance in the UCD Stands Up Final on March 4th.